Volume 8 no. 1
The following are two of the ten questions and suggested responses included in the publication:
MY SEVEN-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER TOLD A RACIST JOKE AND COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS FUNNY. I WAS ANGRY AND EMBARRASSED. WE'RE NOT RACIST. WHAT SHOULD I SAY?
Most seven-year-olds love jokes and riddles. This is a time when their sense of humor is becoming developed and refined. At this age a racist joke is an experiment, not a malicious act. A thoughtful response to hurtful humor will help your child gr asp the power of language to evoke both pleasure and pain. Try to explain why the joke could hurt someone's feelings and let her know that you don't like humor that makes fun of people. You might want to connect it to how she would feel if someone made fun of her because of the color of her hair or eyes.
This is an example of a situation that may need immediate attention. If your daughter hurt another child's feelings with this joke, you probably want to encourage her to apologize. Depending on what you and your child decide together, you might want to talk to the other child's parents, discuss what happened, and let them know how you are handling it.
MY HUSBAND, MY SIX-YEAR-OLD, AND I ARE MEMBERS OF THE NAVAJO NATION. ONLY A FEW OTHER NATIVE PEOPLE LIVE IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD. THE KIDS ON OUR BLOCK SOMETIMES CALL MY SON A "REDSKIN." THIS DOESN'T SEEM TO BOTHER HIM, IN FACT, HE'S A WASHING TON REDSKIN FAN. I FIND THE USE OF THE WORD "REDSKIN" TO BE HORRIBLY OFFENSIVE. MY SON IS STILL SO YOUNG. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN TO HIM WHY IT'S SO HURTFUL. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
It's painful that people who wouldn't dream of using words like "kike" or "nigger" still use without thinking words like "redskin" that are so hurtful to Native Americans. However, all of these terms are classified as &q uot;offensive" or "derogatory" in most modern dictionaries. That the use of "redskin" is legitimized in popular culture as the name of a sports team is insulting.
You mention that there are a few other Native People in your neighborhood. Perhaps you can work together with them to devise ways of educating the children in your community about respectful ways of referring to American Indians, and other cultures as we ll. As a group, you might be able to work through the schools to teach children about the history of Native People in this country.
As your son grows and you pass along the traditions of Navajo culture, you could begin to talk to him about the effect the Europeans had on all Native American cultures, and how you all still experience that effect. It helps to remember that you don't ha ve to cover everything in one conversation. If you think of your conversations with your son as part of an ongoing dialogue, you have an opportunity to help him understand more and more as he grows and develops. You might decide that talking about the h istorical use of the word "redskin" is too scary for a six-year-old, but something that an older child can handle. (There are several versions of the origination of the term "redskin," including one that has its roots in the era when bounty hunters murdered Indians for profit. They had to produce a piece of "red" skin to prove that it was an Indian that they killed.)
Even though he's still quite young, sharing your feelings about these issues and listening to what he has to say will create an atmosphere that encourages him to question what he sees in popular culture.
The pamphlet ends with a few suggestions of things parents can do to help raise children who are comfortable with diversity, and a list of books and articles for parents, teachers and other adults who would like to read more on the topic. For additional information and/or a free copy of the pamphlet (one per subscriber), write to Connie Dennard at LCEF.
